A love letter for your nåna
I am writing from the sunny town of Ōhope. Fun fact, Ōhope claimed the title of New Zealand’s best beach earlier this year. Yesterday my partner and I spent the day gallivanting around the Bay of Plenty, double-checking that we had gifts for everyone joining us during these next couple of weeks. Late in the afternoon we realized it was Te Maruaroa o te Raumati, the summer solstice for Aotearoa and the greater Southern Hemisphere. We took the opportunity to appreciate all the good things we experienced together during this year and jumped into the ocean. Another fun fact, yesterday was my first time submerging myself in New Zealand’s ocean. I prefer the lukewarm, bath-like waters of the Mariana Islands. Every other beach (including those that I frequented living in Hawaiʻi) takes way too much coaxing to get me past knee deep. The “refreshing” swim reminded me to relax, take a beat, and use seasonal reminders to account for the important parts of our lives.
Gratitude during the holidays often gets wrapped up with a bow. While gift giving is a skill and a love language for some, I often find Christmas presents obligatory and an unnecessary debt that many cannot afford (nor should we want to keep up with capitalistic pressures). To remedy this, my grandma and mom always ask for “love letters” from the family on holidays. This year my family is putting together a book of love letters for my grandma to enjoy while she lounges at the house before getting all dolled up for her date nights with her boyfriend. I know, she is a dudus queen if you couldn’t tell from the pictures above. This is all to say, thoughtful gifts are the best gifts. Show appreciation for the people in your life through love letters, too long of embraces, big Chamoru sniff kisses, cha cha-ing with your faves, coffee date at the beach, or squeezing a hand tight while saying, “hu guaiya hao.”
For inspiration, I’m sharing my love letter to my grandma, Mama Lou (Guadalupe Garrido Blas Lujan). Lia and I draw on our grandmother’s style, dudus ways, and tenacity for a good time. We strive, but we’ve got some serious bedazzled zori to fill. Let the women in your life know what they mean to you on the daily. Make it a little extra special during the holidays. They deserve all the accolades. These nanas need that extra feel good feeling and laugh as they get the fiesta dance floor started.
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Håfa adai si Mama Lou,
Håfa tatamanu hao, babydao? I know you have lots of love letters (and texts) from me already, but how fitting is another message considering our physical distance? It is like we are lovers in a long distance relationship. How romantic is that?
I know you have places to go and your boyfriend to see, so I am going to make this written expression of guinaiya-ku para hågu ngisot yan mames. At the end of November, I presented on a history conference panel called, “Grandmothers in the Archives.” My colleagues and I have different research expertise and life stories connecting us to many different islands in the Pacific. The thing we all have in common is how our nånas have a profound influence not only on our academic interests but also in the ways that we carry ourselves in all of the spaces of our lives. We have deep love for our mothers, but there is something invaluable about the ways grandmothers connect us to deeper parts of ourselves, wider family networks, and islands. I know how lucky I am to have been raised by you and my mom. I am often told by Chamorus and other Pacific Islanders that they can tell my grandmother helped take care me sa’ “påtgon biha.” I guess that old child aura comes from knowing how to make others feel comfortable in my spaces. Better bring out snacks and drinks without asking. Making sure to be generous with my time, money, and resources without expecting repayment or something in return. Give freely or don’t give at all. Plus generosity is cyclical; it always comes back around (sa’ inafa’maolek). Finally it is about making things happen for you and those around you. Be a mover and shaker, or get out of the way, baby.
Mahålang yu’ nu hågu si Mama Lou. My guinaiya for all that you do and have done for me is endless, bulalala. I cannot wait to bring this long distance relationship to an end, and åtilek i dågan-mu in person. Most importantly, don’t forget to make good friends, family first, and don’t do drugs (or have the sex). Biba ha’ånen krismasi yan magof nochebuena!
I Kirida-Mu,
Jesi
